The names of the particpants have been changed to protect the guilty (i.e., the greedy, the thieving, the obsequious and the high-strung).

Clerk: 'That will be £25.56 pence please miss.'

Londoner: `You really hate me don't you? How come you only charged the lady before me £1.56 pence?'

Clerk: 'Miss I'm only giving you the price as shown.'

Londoner: `You're a sagitarrius aren't you?It's because I look like a Chelsea supporter with these clothes? How can you be so cruel? Have you no heart?'

Clerk: 'Miss I really don't know what to say?'

Londoner: `You're just doing your job aren't you? That's exactly what Hitler said!!'

<Londoner storms off and confronts one of her friends.>

Londoner: `Friend, please tell me what's wrong with me? Why don't people like me?'

`George you are wonderful. You are kind, sensitive, intelligent, fashionable, great sense of humour, lovely hair, good teeth and amazing considering the stress you've been under.'

Londoner: `So, that's it, you think I'm emotionally unstable a complete basketcase? How could you say such awful things about me being my best friend?'

<Londoner storms off again. She's now walking in the park and drops her purse by accident. A nice young man approaches to give it back to her.>

Nice Young Man: `Excuse me miss I think you dropped this?'

Londoner: `Sex, sex, sex that's all you men think about isn't it? Couldn't you think of something more original?'

Nice Young Man: `Umm, I just saw you drop your purse and thought you might want it back?'

Londoner: `I bet you say that to all the girls? You're over 18 as well I should have known! Don't you think you should mix with people your own age?'